I can claim that the day I got an interview offer for JAKIM's scholarship Bangi was a very blessed and happy day for me. Even though it was just an interview and not a scholarship offer, I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to try. This scholarship was different from others because we had to be evaluated on remembering 30 juz of the Quran.
What worried me the most was that I had just received the offer, and the date was just a week away! I'm very afraid if I'm unable to prepare mentally and memorisation very well. However, I should not have spent days thinking about it because the hard truth is that it was a complete waste of time.
The days ticked by. Unfortunately, I did not have much time to plan because a week was not enough for me. Inside and out, I'm shaking. When I can't push myself any more, all I do is zone out. But then there was one day when my mother noticed her daughter's strange behaviour, like locking herself in her room all the time, and she questioned. "Do you put too much faith in your own abilities for this interview?" I remained quiet and just nodded. "You know, depending on your own efforts won't ever guarantee your success because all that happens in this dunya is due to His will," she continued.
I stared her back, looking directly in her eyes. I was on the verge of crying, but I managed to hold it back. I just realised how, after all of this planning, I forgot to depend on Him. From her words I got to know why this week was such a disaster for me. All of this happened because I forgot about Him and used the wrong intention.
When there were only three days before my interview, I couldn't completely relax, but my mother and father always advised me to keep solawat at all times. I admit that my preparation was insufficient, but I simply tawakkal and leave the rest to Him, while continuing to reinforce the pages that I had memorised.
And now the time had come. My brother and I went there. I saw other candidates forming a line to register. I began reciting the selawat to the Prophet S.A.W. I met some of my classmates, but we didn't talk much because everyone was busy with their last preparation.
I was assigned number 9 for my turn, and I had to wait for almost 5 hours. Even though it was a long wait, the 5 hour wait was full of miracles and blessings for me. The selawat really brings me an outstanding experience. At that times. I couldn't concentrate on revising the pages I'd memorised while waiting in the waiting room, so I kept selawat. Out of blue, I saw a message pop up from my screen's phone . It was my friend who settled her turn for the interview. She shared her questions with me. I'm so happy to know her questions so I can examine the questions' styles. I try to go over all of her questions again. When it was my turn, I forced myself to enter the interview calmly.
What surprised me the most was that one of the questions I was asked was identical to one that my friend had answered. All glory to Him. I was on the verge of crying grateful tears in front of the panels, but thank God it didn't happen. Imagine how Allah allowed me to get the exact verses that my friend got among the thousands of verses in the entire Quran. I'm convinced it was the miracle of Solawat because that was the only thing I couldn't stop reciting from the registration counter to the interview room.
So, if you are not trusting in yourself to face things that might be difficult for you, trust me to do these three things.
1. Don't give up even though you're exhausted.
Just fight to the limit of your abilities. Even if you're exhausted, keep trying, even if it's the smallest effort compared to your previous efforts. Just keep moving forward.
3. Solawat.
Selawat all the time, every second, every steps you walk and don't stop. Just recite it like crazy till your matters settled. Trust me. There's a big miracle behind the solawat.
